Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Not really much to say except that both the girls are doing well. The meds they have them on are working pretty good. I havn't noticed a seizure in either of them for a while now. Maybe a little jerk here or there but not a full blown seizure. Justin is still doing great, almost crawling, but now that he knows how to roll continiously, he just rolls to what ever he wants.

So with that being said, here are some pics that I have taken recently.

Ayva and Anna giving each other kisses. They will always be there for eachother, through it all.

See where the girls are? That is where Justin started off. He rolled all the way over to the door.

He rolled and got his legs stuck under the couch somehow???

Don't you wish you could sleep THIS good?? I do.
These are just some pics I took of the flowers in my back yard.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Could things GET any worse?????

So, while Anna has been doing good on the medicine for her seizures, I have noticed something in Ayva.

I think she is having them too.

Although, hers don't seem to be as bad as Anna's were, but she is definatly "jerking" her head and arms and that IS the way it looks for that type of seizure. I am so devestated. Not only one precious baby with seizures, now two??? How could this happen???? We don't know for sure if Ayva is having seizures or even if it is what Anna has. But I know in my heart it is the same as what Anna has. Infantile Spasms. I am just so sad that my poor babies have to go through this. I thought that their struggle at the beginnings of thier lives was enough. They had had all the struggling days behind them. I guess I was just hoping that was the end of it. Now they have to struggle to keep up. To try to grow and learn despite of seizures that plagued them- who knows- all day? All night? They could have been having seizures all day and I would not have even known it. The Neurologist said with I.S. it is like thier brain is mad. The seizures are irritating the brain and it makes it hard to concentrate and learn. The seizures need to be controlled or it is MUCH harder to learn. I am still in shock at the severity of this all..... in denial mabye. I just keep telling myself that what I read and what I hear don't have to mean that is what is going to happen. Not to my babies. My babies will be perfect. They will grow out of it and be just perfect. No lasting effects. I just keep telling myself to stay positive. They will be fine. Those sentences repeat like a broken record in my mind. Over and over. I feel like I am in a daze and all I can say or do is repeat those sentences. They will be just perfect...

I think that not knowing the future or how things will work out in the end gets to me. It's like watching a movie and asking someone how it ends before they have even gotten close to the ending. I NEED TO KNOW. I have this need to know. Even when I know no one else knows the answer, I still ask out of desperiation of getting to the answer. I feel this way about a lot of things. I just wish I knew the answer to how to help my babies. How they will learn and develop. I know that if I did know exactly how they were going to be when they are older, it wouldn't matter much. I would still love them the same. Still treat them the same. I just feel helpless. And I feel that as their mother I should be more help to them.

I know deep down that I DO give them enough love and support and help learning and growing, but I can't help feeling like it is never enough.

I love all three of you, my little pumpkins!

Monday, July 21, 2008

Enter to win a Chicco Stroller!!

Go to http://reviews.lalagirl.org/?p=85 to win a Trevi Twin Chicco stroller!

Here is some info on the stroller:

Aluminum double stroller with full recline

Independently adjustable canopies to shield baby from the sun or rain
Reclining seats with an adjustable footrest ensure that children are riding comfortable
Built-in boot ensures a safe ride for newborns
3-dimensional compact fold
Parent’s cupholder
Built-in carry handle
Peek-a-boo panel on canopy
The stroller is designed for use with children from birth up to 40 lbs, and retails for $219.00. And it could be all yours! Woohoo

Friday, July 18, 2008

More of Justin's Hijinks!!!

He is SO funny. I heard him giggling on the baby monitor and went in to see what he was up to. This is what I found... (it's kinda dark- sorry)

He grabbed his mobile and stopped it from spinning and actually broke it!! It no longer spins! I didn't think he could reach them but I guess he has his ways of getting things!

OH with all the drama of my cutie pa-tootie Anna getting sick I forgot to take their 8 month pictures. They are a few days late- but they still count!

Mind you- Anna still doesn't feel the best. The seizures make her tired and fussy.

Up to no good.

Justin's new favorite obsession- Ayva's paci! He loves it. He steals it from her every chance he gets. He still keeps his in his hands but wants hers also!

He is so funny!

A bad couple of days....

It all started on Thursday night. Anna was acting strange and jerking her head. I held her for a while and she seemed ok. I put her to bed and all was ok until nap time the next day. She was jerking her head again and her eyes were rolling around in her head. It was so scary. I was home with her alone and I didn't know what was wrong. After her "episode" ended a minute later, I put the phone down and called my mom. She told me to call the Dr. and then call her back. I called them and they told me to either come in and be seen or go to the hospital. We decided to just take her straight to the hospital. I called Justin and he came home from work and my mom also came home from work to watch Ayva and Justin. Justin and I took Anna to Children's Mercy and they told us that if she is having seizures she should have an EEG done but told us to come back on the 21st. I felt that was too far away(as this was the 11th) and over the weekend she started having "episodes" every 4 hours. We called the hospital back and they told us to come in on the 14th and get an EEG. So Monday my mom and I took her and she was a real trooper. She hadn't slept in 8 hours and was very cranky, but was fairly good. She even let them glue a bunch of electrodes to her head and didn't put up too much of a fight. After the EEG the Dr. came in and told us she is having Infantile Spasms. It is a differnt type of seizure that isn't all that common. He told us to come to the Neurology Clinic the next day and we could discuss medicine options. We took her the next day and we started her on her medicine that night. Since then her seizures haven't been that severe and haven't been every 4 hours. She has only had about 1 per day and it didn't last as long as the other ones. We are very saddened by this turn of events and will just take it one day at a time.

In happier news... Justin is about to START CRAWLING! He is SO close. He gets up on his knees and rocks! It is just so cute! I can't wait for him to start crawling!!!

I saw this thing on http://www.babyzone.com/ about what your babies names mean. Here are the kiddos....

Anna Jeanne Lastname

Powerful, a conqueror, devours the weak and rules the strong. The name Anna Jeanne reflects money and power. It is a carnivore, a winner at all cost.

Anna Jeanne has the power and potential to achieve great things. Whatever the enterprise, it strives to be the best and most successful in its field. Extremely competitive and not afraid of challenges or challengers. A visionary, a realist, and a planner. Discipline and perseverance. Dynamic and efficient.
Rewards the faithful and hardworking employee, but has no tolerance for the incompetent.

Anna Jeanne understands the balance between giving and taking, generosity and greed. When it loses that balance, it self-destructs.
Anna Jeanne's most positive characteristics: Strength, perseverance, potential for greatness.

Anna Jeanne's most negative characteristics: Financial ups and downs. Lacks compassion. Can be self-destructive.

Ayva Verlie Lastname

The name Ayva Verlie inspires trust, confidence, and security. This name is grounded and practical, and promotes steady progress and consistent effort.

Ayva Verlie makes one feel that everything will be taken care of; you are in good hands. Not a dreamer and lacking imagination, this name represents integrity and stability. It is comforting, a strong foundation, and the bedrock of society. It also reflects strong organizational skills and an eye for detail. It has a strong sense of structure. Family-oriented.

The name Ayva Verlie reflects a rigid, inflexible atmosphere, which, however, is good for some businesses, such as insurance, banks, accounting, and brokerage firms.

Ayva Verlie's most positive characteristics: Reliable, trustworthy. Structured and disciplined. Makes steady progress.

Ayva Verlie's most negative characteristics: Rigid. Lacks passion, creativity, and tolerance.

Justin Case Lastname

The name Justin Case induces a sense of freedom and adventure, risks and rewards, gambling and daring acts of courage. The name has passion and excitement.

One senses that Justin Case can do anything, is extremely capable, and a true survivor. It is also highly flexible, can adapt to new circumstances quickly, and has excellent reflexes; often, important decisions are made in seconds, seemingly impulsively even. But due to sharp intuition and even sharper intelligence, those decisions are almost always right on the money. Youthful, dynamic and energetic, this name draws people who want things to be "different," and don't like the tried and proven.

Social, outgoing, something skirting the acceptable - or even pushing the envelope of what is legal.

Justin Case's most positive characteristics: Productive, dynamic, adaptable. Good at promoting self.

Justin Case's most negative characteristics: Can be unorganized, scattered. Lacks direction. Needs maturity and discipline.

Monday, July 7, 2008

New Pics

So we had a pretty good 4th of July weekend! We didn't take the kids to see the fireworks, Grandma stayed while Justin and I went with his mom, dad, sister, and cousins. We had fun, rode some rides, ate us some corn dogs and texas tators! (yum) and enjoyed a fabulous firework show! I'll post some pics of them in the outfits they had on before I put them in their 4th of July outfits! I kind of wanted to take the kiddos to the firework show, but they are just too little. They all get scared of big noises easily and those fireworks were REALLY loud! ***Order is L-R Justin, Anna and Ayva***

And these are from us at the Parkville Firework carnival!

And we also put the kids in the pool and it was really windy so they got cold really easily- so it turned out to be a 5 minute dip in the pool. But at least they got to show off their new swimsuits!!!!***order is Ayva, Justin and Anna***

OH and we all tried sweet potatoes for the first time today!!! **to my other post where I said Justin already tried sweet potatoes- Grandma read the label wrong and gave him carrots and called them sweet potatoes**

We also have tried carrots (which Justin has already eaten) and it was liked by all!! ***order is Anna, Justin and Ayva***

And of course, I wouldn't forget my Random Picture Posts!

This is a pic of Ayva sleeping with her mouth open and then the kiddos all ready to go for a car ride!!!

I think this is the cutest pic I have taken to date. It is Ayva sleeping on top of Auntie Ashtie **who is also sleeping**

And on Saturday we had some people come over and watch a UFC fight on PPV. Some of Justin's friends came and some of my friends came. Justin and his friends watched the fight inside and I stayed outside and sat on the patio with some of my friends and family. Justin used his new BBQ grill and made some MOST DELICIOUS picnic roast, brisquet and ribs. Oh so yummy!!!

Sunday, July 6, 2008

What Sarah Means

You are the total package - suave, sexy, smart, and strong.

You have the whole world under your spell, and you can influence almost everyone you know.

You don't always resist your urges to crush the weak. Just remember, they don't have as much going for them as you do.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

You are truly an original person. You have amazing ideas, and the power to carry them out.

Success comes rather easily for you... especially in business and academia.

Some people find you to be selfish and a bit overbearing. You're a strong person.

Thursday, July 3, 2008

I'd give anything....

I'd give anything to make it so my children don't hurt.

My poor Ayva. You can just tell in her cry that she is in pain. I would give anything to take her pain away.... anything. I just wish I knew what was wrong so I could fix it. The Dr. put her on Zantac and I think that may be part of her problem, but who knows. She can't tell me that her tummy hurts, or that she is scared. I also wish that I knew if she could see or not. The eye Dr. told me that she can see- that she has vision, but she is just delayed in her vision..... Sometimes, when she cries, I think maybe she's scared. Maybe she is looking for me and can't see me even though I'm there and cries because she feels alone. Oh, my little baby..... My heart hurts thinking that she may not be able to see me and think I would leave her. I WOULD NEVER LEAVE HER..... but she may be going on, day after day wondering where her mommy is...........I want her to see me and KNOW that I am there....not have to lay there and wonder if I will come back and hold her.....wonder if I love her and will come back for her.... My heart aches for the pain she feels.....

My sweet, Avie, Mommy will never leave you....I love you with all my heart...

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Sleeping babies...

I was reading the Harris Boys' blog and she made me want to post some fav pics of the kiddos sleeping..

Ayva, Justin, Anna

Ayva, Justin and Anna and Ayva holding hands

Ayva (she always slept with her hands up) and Anna, Justin and Ayva's first picture together

My fav ones from after they came home...

Anna, Ayva, and Anna

Justin, Anna, and Justin

Justin, then Ayva twice.