A list of things I want for my girls

1. I want Ayva's seizures to go away forever
2. I want Anna's seizures to stay away forever
3. I want my girls to be able to walk and sit up and play
4. I don't want them to be scared
5. I want them to be able to see me so they know I am here for them
6. I want them to be able to see a rainbow, or a beautiful sunset, or themselves in a mirror, or even a smile on someone's face
7. I want them be able to learn and grow like everyone else
8. I want to hear them say "mama" or "dada" or "I love you"
9. I want all three of them to be so close
10. I want them to fight over toys and then 10 seconds later be friends again.
11. I want them to pretend together and laugh together and be best friends together.
12. I want them to know how much there daddy and I love them
13. I want them to understand how much they mean to me
14. I want them to know I would do anything for them and I would give anything for them to have these things
15. I want them to giggle under the covers with each other
16. I want them to sneak out of their beds together
17. I want them to be able to go to school and make friends
18. I want them to be truly happy
19. I want them to be able to ride a bike, or play sport
20. I want others who see the girls to not feel pity for them, but to see them as people and not only see what they are unable to do.

These things might make me a selfish person, but I don't care. As their mother, I want all these things for them and I think it's ok to be selfish for them. If they never get any of these things, I won't love them any less- I could NEVER love them any less. I may actually love them more. More for being strong. More for being fighters. More for being brave.